1. Its okay to shop like a kid. You can still buy your cereal based on the free toy you get.
2. Its is never okay to go to a bar that advertises Jager Bombs as their special of the night. For that matter, avoid any club with the "18 to get in, 21 to get down" slogan, nothing good has ever come of it.
3. Black lights should not be in your possession after turning 23 or becoming junior in college, which ever comes first.
4. Its okay to fall in love, that's part of life.
5. Do not relate women to cars, wine, milk, animals or any other object, they are all poor analogies.
6. When you do turn 25, find a better reason to celebrate than lower auto insurance rates, that's just sad if you do.
7. Joining a Greek organization was one of the best decisions I ever made. Find your niche.
8. Many of life's problems are out of your control, do not stress. Be like a Captain who steers his ship through rough water...He does not control the seas, only his vessel. So focus on the things you do have control over.
9. Love your friends, love your family, but love yourself first. You can't make others happy without being happy yourself.
10.
11.
12.
This list continues, I'm going to bed.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Afflicated at The Rail
As some of you may know, I love my Nordys and the Rail. Great customer service, good fashion, and cool threads...Today I went shopping for a Button-down black t-shirt and it took me about 30 minutes to find it.
Why is it so hard to buy a simple black long sleeve shirt. I don't want skulls on my back, bat wings on my shoulders, affliction running across my chest, metal studs, or gold foil. When did these crazy designs become fashionable? I just want a classic black shirt.
Why is it so hard to buy a simple black long sleeve shirt. I don't want skulls on my back, bat wings on my shoulders, affliction running across my chest, metal studs, or gold foil. When did these crazy designs become fashionable? I just want a classic black shirt.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
A day I need chocolate chip cookie dough and Bravo
I don't really know where to start. But I guess this blog begins with disappointment. A disappointment I have felt for years. Included in this disappointment are feelings of anger, resentment, and detachment. For many years I have struggled with the interesting dynamic my family presents. No family is truly "functional" and all have their problems, but some more than others. In this dysfunctionality, I think of my relationship with my father; the drug/alcohol abuse, the lack of support, the abandonment, and disconnect. For years I've tried to mend the relationship, trying to pieces together a history that was never there and recreating father-son experiences robbed by selfishness. Although my father returned to the family, it was too late for me to create a connection...I had grown-up with teachers and community mentors piecing together a reliable "father figure."
This idea started yesterday, when I was asked my favorite childhood memory....I couldn't think of one...maybe I'm a pessimist, but the things i do remember of my childhood include yelling, fighting, separations and bring feelings of isolation...
Combined with these feelings are my family's expectations to be the guidance counselor and college guru to every relative I know. Although, I make a difference in hundreds of students lives...to them it means nothing unless I also provide that effort and support to my relatives. This pressure is greatest with my one and only brother. He is ten years younger than I and the most important part of my life and the reason I stay connected with my family is to make sure he is doing okay. The last two years have brought upon arguments between my parents and I to take custody of him and be his legal guardian. There are many reasons I feel fit to raise my brother and help him progress through his teenage years. Regardless, I want the best for him and the goals he has for himself. Currently, is future career is a professional angler (Sports Fishermen) and I love it!
What it comes down to is...I hate knowing my family has leniency to get away with these things. I like to be in control, in control of my emotions, I thrive on knowing that only I create and influence my emotions. I dislike knowing that people (family) can have such an influence on my emotions and the way I feel. This might extend to my relationships and my uncomfortableness with emotions and knowing that I can make some feel great/horrible with my words and actions. When I get that feeling I self-destruct that relationship...I isolate myself because then, only I can influence my emotions.
I can't deal with the emotionally drain actions and decisions they make. I think to myself, what is the best way to distance myself, yet stay connected with my family. How do you deal with this unhealthy relationship? When you have an unhealthy relationship with a friend...its easy to cut the friendship...but how does it go when its a family member, a father or Mother? How do you renegotiate that relationship on your own terms? I don't want to be let down, have my hopes crushed, and be waiting for something that never happens. (Hmm, I get it)
I should have been enjoy a nice vacation with my family, but instead I am writing this blog and still patiently waiting...
This idea started yesterday, when I was asked my favorite childhood memory....I couldn't think of one...maybe I'm a pessimist, but the things i do remember of my childhood include yelling, fighting, separations and bring feelings of isolation...
Combined with these feelings are my family's expectations to be the guidance counselor and college guru to every relative I know. Although, I make a difference in hundreds of students lives...to them it means nothing unless I also provide that effort and support to my relatives. This pressure is greatest with my one and only brother. He is ten years younger than I and the most important part of my life and the reason I stay connected with my family is to make sure he is doing okay. The last two years have brought upon arguments between my parents and I to take custody of him and be his legal guardian. There are many reasons I feel fit to raise my brother and help him progress through his teenage years. Regardless, I want the best for him and the goals he has for himself. Currently, is future career is a professional angler (Sports Fishermen) and I love it!
What it comes down to is...I hate knowing my family has leniency to get away with these things. I like to be in control, in control of my emotions, I thrive on knowing that only I create and influence my emotions. I dislike knowing that people (family) can have such an influence on my emotions and the way I feel. This might extend to my relationships and my uncomfortableness with emotions and knowing that I can make some feel great/horrible with my words and actions. When I get that feeling I self-destruct that relationship...I isolate myself because then, only I can influence my emotions.
I can't deal with the emotionally drain actions and decisions they make. I think to myself, what is the best way to distance myself, yet stay connected with my family. How do you deal with this unhealthy relationship? When you have an unhealthy relationship with a friend...its easy to cut the friendship...but how does it go when its a family member, a father or Mother? How do you renegotiate that relationship on your own terms? I don't want to be let down, have my hopes crushed, and be waiting for something that never happens. (Hmm, I get it)
I should have been enjoy a nice vacation with my family, but instead I am writing this blog and still patiently waiting...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The Public Library: A Savage Garden
Oh the hustle and bustle of a public library, truly one of my favorite places to be. One of the first things I do after moving to a new city is apply for a public library card. I seem to have an affinity with public libraries. It grows from my fascination of books, literature, and the acquisition of knowledge. Childrens books, young adult, fiction, government publication, references, and multimedia; all housed under one roof.
On an given day, a child could be reading their first words... an immigrant learning English with the language acquisition programs available...an under-resourced student who lacks a computer, internet, or printer can be on equal terms with anyone else...or a grandson can be assisting his grandmother with her citizenship test in the midst of all the great books on America's history and its political structure.
One day, I want to be a "Patron of the Library." When I grow old and no longer want to work in higher education I will volunteer at a public library. Chilling at 75, working a reference desk or assisting students with the Dewey decimal system. After writing this is it too late to get a Masters in Library Science?
This has been a "me" day. One were I escape the real world, just like people do when they read a book, and focus on myself. I am glad to have had this time to reflect. I am also glad for the readers of this blog who understand me and enjoy my stuff.
On an given day, a child could be reading their first words... an immigrant learning English with the language acquisition programs available...an under-resourced student who lacks a computer, internet, or printer can be on equal terms with anyone else...or a grandson can be assisting his grandmother with her citizenship test in the midst of all the great books on America's history and its political structure.
One day, I want to be a "Patron of the Library." When I grow old and no longer want to work in higher education I will volunteer at a public library. Chilling at 75, working a reference desk or assisting students with the Dewey decimal system. After writing this is it too late to get a Masters in Library Science?
This has been a "me" day. One were I escape the real world, just like people do when they read a book, and focus on myself. I am glad to have had this time to reflect. I am also glad for the readers of this blog who understand me and enjoy my stuff.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
4-6353
Today I received a mix-tape from a new friend. The disc was an eclectic jumble of songs intended to heal the soul. This was just what I need. The first track was Modest Mouse-The world at large. Hearing the sounds, I felt a sense of warmth and appreciated the nice gesture. I love music for its inherent power to make you feel. It's the feeling of interconnectedness, you know when you hear a song, listen to the lyrics and let it soak...you are washed over by the words and feel like the artist is sing to you and your experiences....at that point you can sit and listen or sing along at the top of your lungs then magically, you feel better.
That my friends is Stereo Therapy.
Today is one of those days, I feel connected to the music. Listening to these tunes reminds me of where I am, where I come from, and where I want to go. Reflecting over these past few days, I realize I have become a better version of myself. I am caring, understanding, and allow emotions to show. Things seen as a weakness are now seen as parts of me I can share and enjoy with others. I am my true-self not a distorted reflection I like to create. I am happy with myself and the person I am. I have the world in front of me and ready to experience life again. 9 months is not so far way, see you in a bit May 2010.
Ice-age heat wave, can't complain.
If the world's at large, why should I remain?
Walked away to another plan.
Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand.
I move on to another day,
to a whole new town with a whole new way.
Went to the porch to have a thought.
Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop.
You don't know where and you don't know when.
But you still got your words and you got your friends.
Walk along to another day.
Work a little harder, work another way.
Well uh-uh baby I ain't got no plan.
We'll float on maybe would you understand?
Gonna float on maybe would you understand?
Well float on maybe would you understand?
The days get shorter and the nights get cold.
I like the autumn but this place is getting old.
I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast.
It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most.
The days get longer and the nights smell green.
I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave.
I like songs about drifters - books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
I still haven't gotten anywhere that I want.
Did I want love? Did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?
The moths beat themselves to death against the lights.
Adding their breeze to the summer nights.
Outside, water like air was great.
I didn't know what I had that day.
Walk a little farther to another plan.
You said that you did, but you didn't understand.
I know that starting over is not what life's about.
But my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth.
My thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth.
My thoughts were so loud.
That my friends is Stereo Therapy.
Today is one of those days, I feel connected to the music. Listening to these tunes reminds me of where I am, where I come from, and where I want to go. Reflecting over these past few days, I realize I have become a better version of myself. I am caring, understanding, and allow emotions to show. Things seen as a weakness are now seen as parts of me I can share and enjoy with others. I am my true-self not a distorted reflection I like to create. I am happy with myself and the person I am. I have the world in front of me and ready to experience life again. 9 months is not so far way, see you in a bit May 2010.
Ice-age heat wave, can't complain.
If the world's at large, why should I remain?
Walked away to another plan.
Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand.
I move on to another day,
to a whole new town with a whole new way.
Went to the porch to have a thought.
Got to the door and again, I couldn't stop.
You don't know where and you don't know when.
But you still got your words and you got your friends.
Walk along to another day.
Work a little harder, work another way.
Well uh-uh baby I ain't got no plan.
We'll float on maybe would you understand?
Gonna float on maybe would you understand?
Well float on maybe would you understand?
The days get shorter and the nights get cold.
I like the autumn but this place is getting old.
I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast.
It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most.
The days get longer and the nights smell green.
I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave.
I like songs about drifters - books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
I still haven't gotten anywhere that I want.
Did I want love? Did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?
The moths beat themselves to death against the lights.
Adding their breeze to the summer nights.
Outside, water like air was great.
I didn't know what I had that day.
Walk a little farther to another plan.
You said that you did, but you didn't understand.
I know that starting over is not what life's about.
But my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth.
My thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth.
My thoughts were so loud.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Avientame
Por un momento estaba perdido en algo hermoso. Ahora no se como me siento o lo que viene manana. Estoy perdido, per reconoscoso que amores perros.
Con las decisiones y las emociones tengo un apagador, que se apaga y se enciende, ayudando me ser frio. Un los ultimos dias es apagador a parado de trabajo y me alegro.
Para ser honesto, no se que decir. Lo que si se, es que esto alegre de estar en esta situacion. Gracis a ti veo una mejor version de mi. Mi objetivo para le ano ira ser una persona mejor. Ser una persona mejor mostrando emociones real, aumentar la participacion de mi comunidad, y aprender a amar de nuevo. Gracis por compartir tu ser y renovar la fe en mí mismo.
Solo porque lo sientes, no significa que esta alli.
Con las decisiones y las emociones tengo un apagador, que se apaga y se enciende, ayudando me ser frio. Un los ultimos dias es apagador a parado de trabajo y me alegro.
Para ser honesto, no se que decir. Lo que si se, es que esto alegre de estar en esta situacion. Gracis a ti veo una mejor version de mi. Mi objetivo para le ano ira ser una persona mejor. Ser una persona mejor mostrando emociones real, aumentar la participacion de mi comunidad, y aprender a amar de nuevo. Gracis por compartir tu ser y renovar la fe en mí mismo.
Solo porque lo sientes, no significa que esta alli.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
A Duck Pond in Central Park
Taking a break from work, I decided to start restocking my bookcases. Since I moved out of my condo in June, I hadn't seen the loves of my life, my books! The had been suffocating in recycled Costco boxes and plastic containers. The first shelf I organized consisted of philosophy and political thought. Books by John Stuart Mill, Marx, Dostoevsky, Jean-Paul Sartre, and Albert Camus. By the smell of one, I was transported to my sophomore year of undergraduate...hoovering over my old self...I saw myself in a 3am discussion with my roommate on nihilism, existentialism, and various world views.
Some of you might think I am crazy, but I know how my books smell and appreciate it. Each book provides a fond memory and connects me to my past, a certain feeling, or life experience. I am particular about my books, the way I organize them, and how and if I lend them. The ones I lend are for my friends and staff to enlightenment themselves. I treat them to the delicacies Bertrand Russell, Jack Keroauc, and Paulo Freire wrote. The books closest to me...the ones in my heart and mind, can never be shared. Those pages keep my inner most thoughts and retain a part of my past. In those manuscripts, I am connected to a previous time and space I have occupied...in each I leave a piece of myself and also take a piece of it; I am Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye), David Brower (Encounter with the Arch Druid), Sal Paradise (On the Road), Meursault (L'etranger), Demetrio Macías (Los de Abajo), Don Quixote, and Artemio Cruz (La Muerte de Artemio Cruz).
Some of you might think I am crazy, but I know how my books smell and appreciate it. Each book provides a fond memory and connects me to my past, a certain feeling, or life experience. I am particular about my books, the way I organize them, and how and if I lend them. The ones I lend are for my friends and staff to enlightenment themselves. I treat them to the delicacies Bertrand Russell, Jack Keroauc, and Paulo Freire wrote. The books closest to me...the ones in my heart and mind, can never be shared. Those pages keep my inner most thoughts and retain a part of my past. In those manuscripts, I am connected to a previous time and space I have occupied...in each I leave a piece of myself and also take a piece of it; I am Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye), David Brower (Encounter with the Arch Druid), Sal Paradise (On the Road), Meursault (L'etranger), Demetrio Macías (Los de Abajo), Don Quixote, and Artemio Cruz (La Muerte de Artemio Cruz).
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